Show, Don’t tell: Emotions and Expressions
From editors to fiction gurus we hear the same advice Show, Don’t Tell. Careful use of verbs instead of a truck-load of adjectives is what an experienced writer will say. I add that transforming emotions into expressions is one of the must-do jobs of every fiction writer. It is a simple trick if you know it.
Emotions and Expressions
We feel emotions but we use expressions to show them. When you are angry; your face goes red, you shout abusives, you slam the door. That is how people around you know you are angry. You express your anger in a certain way. You don’t tell them, ‘Clear out. I am angry.’ You reveal it through actions, sound, and body language. I think that is what editors mean by telling. Telling is not true to reality. That is not how real people behave. If your character says, ‘You hurt me. I am incredibly angry with you,’ then you have a problem. Next time you sit down writing, cut out all words that describe emotions: love, hatred, joy, sadness, empathy, anger, terror, trust etc. Here is the Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions that has all basic emotions so you know which words to avoid. Let us see some examples of how to describe emotions through the use of expressions. Note that it is the details that build up the image in your mind.
Emotion Expression
| Sadness:
The first time I saw him he was unhappy. |
The first time I saw him his face sagged like a bulldog’s, the hanging folds on the sides of his lips hinting at a lost life. |
| Fear:
He got scared at the slightest sound.
|
I could feel his hand trembling in mine when something flapped in the attic. |
| Ecstasy:
He dropped down on the ground in ecstasy after winning the match.
|
His face bloomed splendidly and he hit the ground amidst the sound of clapping, his dreamy eyes filling with tears. |
| Awe:
Of all my students, only Sheila was awed by me.
|
If I would tell Sheila to repeat what I said at the tuitions, I knew she could, even though she never could bring herself to have a casual chat with me. |
| Desire:
From my eyes she can see I desire her.
|
I stammer when she is alone with me, I forget myself when she looks into my eyes, words meant for her stay inside my heart. My only hope is that she reads me. |
Having a list of emotions and how they can be shown through expressions can be handy at the time of writing. Spend some time creating it so that it seeps into your subconscious and comes out naturally when you write.
Joy – jumping, screaming, throwing things up in the sky, smiling, grinning, laughing
Anger – throwing things down, slaming things, using abusives, violence, frowning deeply, shouting, silence
Grief – hiding face with hands, keeping the head bowed, shrinking (posture), tears, carelessness about appearance and surroundings, seeking isolation, listlessness
Love – dewy eyed, twinkle in the eyes, listlessness, daydreaming, anxious, losing control over oneself, seeking attention of the lover
Depression – silence, seeking isolation, unmindful of appearance, irritable, disinterest in everything, weight gain, fatigue, losing control over life.
You must have heard that there are no rules in fiction writing. If your prose is perfect with a ‘joy’, a ‘surprise’, or a ‘grief’; stick to it. The only thing that matters in fiction is that your prose should work, but nobody can tell you exactly how. Sadly and luckily, writing is not a mathematical problem that can go through a set process and come up with a precise, universal answer. In writing, it is your aesthetic sense coupled with your unique individuality that makes up the answer. Keep at it!
What about describing the feelings in the body as an option for showing not telling? The internal approach for variety.
By ‘describing the feelings the body’ I think you mean body language. Yes, a mixture of internal and external works best. You can use words like shudder, startle, froze, turned away, grinned etc. to show emotions and not use words like surprise, afraid, disappointed etc.